Being named the executor of a loved one’s estate is an honor. It is also a job, and most people get it at the worst possible time: right after a funeral, while they are still grieving.
Nobody hands you a manual. So families learn as they go, and some of the most expensive lessons come from small, honest mistakes. Here are six we see again and again, and how to steer clear of them.
1. Moving too fast
It is natural to want to “get it all handled.” But selling the house, giving away belongings, or paying out money before you have the legal authority to act can cause real trouble. In most cases, the probate court has to officially appoint you first.
Take a breath. Find the will, order several certified copies of the death certificate, and learn what your state requires before you start dividing anything up.
2. Mixing estate money with your own
Even with the best intentions, paying the estate’s bills out of your own account, or depositing estate checks into it, creates a mess that is hard to untangle later. Most executors open a separate bank account just for the estate. Every dollar in and out goes through that one account.
3. Not keeping records
As executor, you may have to show the court and the family exactly what came in and what went out. Keep every receipt, bill, bank statement, and letter in one folder or binder. A simple notebook log of what you did and when will save you hours of stress later.
4. Paying bills in the wrong order
When money is tight, it is tempting to pay whoever calls first. But states have rules about which debts get paid first and how long creditors have to come forward. Paying the wrong bills too early can leave the estate short for debts that come first, and in some cases the executor can be held responsible.
5. Missing deadlines
There are deadlines for filing with the probate court, notifying creditors, and filing the person’s final tax returns. These dates vary by state and by situation. Put every deadline on a calendar the day you learn about it.
6. Keeping the family in the dark
Most family fights over estates don’t start with greed. They start with silence. When people don’t know what’s happening, they fill in the blanks with worry and suspicion. Send short, regular updates, even when the update is “we’re still waiting on the court.” It goes a long way toward keeping the peace.
You don’t have to figure it out alone
Our Estate Administration Family Guide walks executors and families through the process step by step, in plain language. It helps you know what comes next, what to keep track of, and which mistakes to avoid, so you can honor your loved one without losing your peace of mind.
- For yourself or your family: livingwillandestateguide.com/single-book-orders
- For churches, funeral homes, and organizations (10 to 50+ copies): livingwillandestateguide.com/build-your-bulk-order
Want 10% off your first guide? Join our family list using the sign-up box at the bottom of this page, and we’ll email you a welcome code right away.
Being an executor is a final act of love. With a clear plan, it can also be a manageable one.
— Jum and Mae RaOof, Founders, New World Publishing
This article is for general education only and is not legal, tax, or medical advice. Probate rules, debt priorities, and deadlines vary by state. For advice about your situation, talk with an attorney or other qualified professional.